After infidelity – where do we go from here?

January 21st, 2023
how to get over infidelity

How to get over infidelity and affair recovery

You’ve addressed the issue, now what?

Acknowledging and identifying that there has been infidelity during a relationship is the important first step. Once this has been recognised and the beast has been named, it means there is hope in starting to stick some of the pieces back together or decide to part.

And a great place to start is with professional couples counselling, allowing all parties to talk about and process their emotions in a safe, neutral space:


Taking the step and engaging in therapy shows that both you and your partner are willing to be brave and dive into your relationship issues head on. Couple’s therapy is all about communicating how you feel and listening to the other about their needs, wants and concerns in an attempt to reconnect and make this relationship one to be cherished.

Processing feelings around infidelity

It is important not to shy away from the difficult feelings in therapy – Here at the Therapy Room we are not going to pretend that this will be an easy process, but what we do know if that, if you let it, it can be an extremely beneficial experience that has the potential to get your relationship back on its feet again.

All parties need the opportunity to voice how they feel and how they have been made to feel throughout the exposure of infidelity within the relationship. These things will not always be easy to hear but getting them out in the open is an incredibly powerful way of starting to process some of the hurt and confusion.

What the reasons are and how can you go about fixing them?

There are always reasons and a deeper understanding for behaviour.

Getting to the root of why someone was unfaithful will allow all those involved in the relationship some clarity and insight into why the infidelity occurred, clearing up the mystery and perhaps even assuaging some feelings of insecurity from the opposite party.

Once these reasons have been identified, it is then easier to work though these issues and dig a bit deeper into these difficult feelings, perhaps even helping them disappear completely. Whether there are residual feelings leftover from childhood and formative years, or perhaps even past relationships, experiences, and traumas, that have informed this behaviour, working through these deeper negative feelings with a therapist can rewire the way you think about things and allow for healthier relationships with others.

What are the good parts of the relationship that make it worth saving?

When working through relationship difficulties, there will be a lot of focus on the negative things, what has gone wrong and how hurt we are by the actions of others.

At the Therapy Room, we believe it is important to get a bit of balance and perspective within the exploration of these issues. What are the good things about your partner? What do they do well? What about them makes you work as a partnership and why do you think this relationship is worth saving?

You wouldn’t be in couples therapy if you didn’t think there was a glimmer of hope amongst the darkness, and so keeping a balanced perspective throughout sessions, whilst difficult at times, will make for the most insightful experience for all those involved

Couples therapy at The Therapy Room

A healthy, loving relationship takes time, attention, and effort. By helping couples realise what’s unspoken in the relationship, couple counselling can re-establish an open and honest, calm, and loving connection.

Whether your relationship is simply not what it used to be, or you are close to parting, a breakdown does not have to mean a breakup. Finding love again in your existing relationship is possible.

It may be small, niggly things impacting your relationship, or it may be that your relationship is close to ending and you want to try one last time to stay together. You may have had a relationship end badly and want to get help for future relationships.

Often the stresses of life together – be it money, family, children, loss, or trauma – put huge strain on relationships. Sometimes issues from childhood are carried through to adulthood. Communicating together can mean it’s possible to feel happy and fulfilled together again. Your therapist can help you resolve anger and hurt, conflict and frustration, showing you how to talk and listen to each other.

Couples counselling is held at The Therapy Room in Northampton. A safe, calm and balanced environment where couples can take time together, couples therapy can restore a healthy loving relationship. For a session of 50-60 minutes per couple, £90.00 is payable at the end of the session. 80-90 minute sessions are also available at £120.00 per couple.

To organise a booking or arrange payment, please visit our bookings and payment page.

Let’s get you back to good.