Nurturing a relationship: the importance of regular check-ins

June 25th, 2024
Nurturing a relationship and the importance of regular check ins

Nurturing a relationship: the importance of regular check-ins

As you get older, you start to realise that everything in life needs maintenance. Whether it’s your car, your house, or your body, unless you maintain it regularly, it will start to fall apart.

This applies to relationships just as much as it does anything else, and in this series of blogs, we’ll be exploring strategies you can employ to keep your happiness as a couple ticking over.

Top up the oil before you have to replace the engine

Maintaining a healthy relationship requires more than just love and attraction. It demands time and energy, effort, and a commitment to work through any issues as a team.

A relationship won’t always be perfect but if you put the time in to maintain it as the months, years and decades go by, it will always be fit for the future.

One effective strategy to achieve this is through regular check-ins. These are intentional, scheduled conversations where partners discuss the state of their relationship, address any concerns, and celebrate their successes.

Now we’re not asking you to hire a boardroom, create a PowerPoint presentation, and set your other half KPIs, but making the effort to regularly check-in with your partner can prevent small issues from escalating into significant problems.

Tips for meaningful check-ins

These days, it feels like we all have less and less time on our hands, especially with work pressures, family commitments and social obligations. So, if you fancy giving regular check-ins a go, they don’t have to last long to be meaningful.

Here are some tips for getting the best out of them:

  • Set a regular time that works for both of you, perhaps once a week or fortnightly. The key is consistency and ensuring both of you commit to the process.
  • Begin the conversation by expressing appreciation for each other. Highlight what’s going well in the relationship and acknowledge each other’s efforts. This positive reinforcement sets a constructive tone for addressing more challenging topics.
  • When discussing issues, focus on using “I” statements to express your feelings and avoid assigning blame. For example, instead of saying, “You never help around the house,” try, “I feel overwhelmed with household chores and could really use some help.” This approach encourages a more collaborative and less defensive dialogue.
  • Be open to feedback and be willing to make compromises. Relationships thrive on mutual respect and understanding.
  • If a disagreement arises, remember that it’s not about winning or losing but finding a solution that works for both partners.
  • Lastly, regular check-ins are not solely for troubleshooting. You can also use this time to plan fun activities, set goals together, and make plans for the future.

Getting some extra help maintaining your relationship

Choosing to take part in couples therapy is often falsely seen as the sign of a failing relationship that cannot be salvaged, when on the contrary, it actually demonstrates strength, commitment and the love you have for each other in being willing to work on your relationship with the help of a trained professional.

At The Therapy Room, we understand the importance of regular check-ins in maintaining a healthy relationship and can provide a safe and supportive environment where you and your partner can learn effective communication techniques and address any underlying issues.

Whether you’re looking to strengthen your bond or navigate through a challenging period, we are here to help you.


Founder Jay L Pink Ad.Prof.Dip MBACP PC MNCS (ACC) established The Therapy Room to offer high quality, expert counselling and therapy services to people of all ages, as well as to couples for relationship and partner counselling and groups for corporate and family therapy. Jay’s commitment to anyone visiting The Therapy Room is to unconditionally respect values, lifestyle, background and beliefs, offering a discreet and professional service tailored to their needs.

Therapy is held either in-person at The Therapy Room in Northampton or online.

To organise a booking, please visit our bookings and payment page.