Online Relationships Part 1: The good and bad aspects to online dating

September 29th, 2021
How to approach online dating - man using mobile internet dating app

How to approach online dating

Online dating has opened a new door for relationships in the last few years. It provides a quick and easy way to view, match and meet your ideal partner in just a click of a button. With the convenience of not having to leave your living room to do so, it gives great appeal and makes the quest for love seem a little easier. But sometimes we get so caught up in it all, we become unaware of what impacts this may give to relationship. These can be good and bad, so it’s important to understand how to approach online dating

The 3 positives to internet dating are:

  1. There are plenty of fish in the sea
  2. Combating stereotyped gender expectations
  3. Being shy is not a bad thing

There are plenty of fish in the sea

This is likely a saying you have heard often, and it applies accurately to the online dating experience. Online dating allows a wide range of people to view and interact with. It gives you the opportunity to date different people that you wouldn’t usually go for and in dating these people you may discover something you like about others, and even learn something about yourself. Change is a great thing for the mind, it allows you to expand your acceptance and like for difference in life and in people.

It combats stereotyped gender expectations

It is very common for us to associate romance with a man asking the woman to date him and not very often the other way round. Online dating combats this gender stereotype as more women feel more confident in reaching out to men in dating. This is a really positive way for women and men to become more confident in dating without the social pressures offline. It will help you to feel assured in telling someone you like them no matter what your gender is.

Being shy is not a bad thing

Approaching someone face to face in the first time of seeing them, can be a daunting process for the shy person. Online dating allows you to talk online for your desired period of time, to gain confidence in getting to know them before meeting them directly. It also means you are able to share with them your shyness, so they are aware of being sensitive to this when meeting. It also ensures that they don’t feel as if you are disinterested. Especially if you have  a tendency to not be directly talkative or forward.

The 3 negatives to internet dating are:

  1. A high expectation to be good-looking
  2. There is little personality on profiles
  3. Pressure for instant intimacy 

A high expectation to be good looking

A common aspect of online dating is the urge to know what someone looks like and whether you feel physically attracted to that person. Being good looking is likely to increase your likelihood in meeting people online because often looks are valued above personality. This is a very negative aspect of online dating. With the high bar already set for looking ‘perfect’ online, it can sometimes make it difficult for those who value personality. It is vital that you keep true to who you are.

There is little personality on profiles

With the high focus on looks, people are less likely to give a full view of their personality on their profiles. This can make it difficult in getting to know a person truly. The lack of ability in knowing what it would be like to physically interact with that person, can give a false view of who they really are. Take time to find out who they are before meeting in person, to avoid an uncomfortable or negative date experience.

Pressure for instant intimacy

Online dating increases the speed at which couples fall for each other romantically, due to the desire for instant connection and the abandonment of this if there isn’t that spark. With online dating breaking down feelings of vulnerability and anxiety, intimacy can feel more approachable and easier to do. The lesson to learn here is still allow a longer process of connecting before committing to an intimate relationship. Knowing and understanding yourself and your partner fully is very important in developing and being in a relationship.

For more information on online dating or to get advice today, contact Jay at